Recently, I have been questioned and cautioned by both people who care, and those who are just curious about why I make so much about my life, public.  They warn of giving ammo to "the Haters", "Dream Killers"  or those who simply allow their own insecurities to create obstacles for those who are trying to do what they have been unsuccessful at. 
             
   I believe that our lives are testimonies. We live to tell the story of Glory.  Better yet, we are the story.  Everyone experiences both good and bad in their lives.  More commonly we are uncomfortable  with our current stage in life and ourselves.  Most times we tend to focus on the negative, on what we can improve, and what we are not doing due to procrastination, forgetfulness, stress, or just laziness.  We see our flaws as weakness,  and we don't like to talk about them.  

The reasons that we don't like talking about our flaws, or our not-so glorious moments in life is our fear of pain,  of vulnerability.  We lack the trust that all things are meant to work out for our good.  We forget that it is because of the bad that we grow.  Most importantly we forget that our imperfections make us human. 

I admit that I have been hurt deeply by those who knew the most about me.  I have also realized that these deep moments of pain,  sparked the greatest feats of triumph in my life, and have shaped the positive aspects of my character.  Those who are the most compassionate, are so because they have been hurt.  Those who are the most giving, know what it is like to not have. The best people, the best leaders ,  and the best mentors are those who are able to relate. Many times this ability  comes from an uncomfortable and ugly place, a place that was only healed by Love.  Sometimes the solution was learning to self-love, or found in external love.

  Even so, those who know and follow my story  don't want to see me in pain due to the information that I have shared while I am still in a vulnerable state.  They are cautious about the evilness of people, and don't want my spirit to be broken.  They forget that I am protected because my joy and  happiness are rooted in Love.  People can only see Love through Truth. Truth comes from being transparent and vulnerable.  Strength comes from the ability to overcome pain. 

In wrestling with this warning of the need to self protect,  I began browsing Facebook to take a break from focusing on my own life, by virtually celebrating the lives of others.  One of my Facebook friend's post, answered why  I felt that I needed to tell others everything, both good and bad,  when asked a question, even if the reason for the interview was ill-willed and maliciously noisy.  This answer was a reference to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.   It states:But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Strength comes from weakness. The strongest are those who realize that they need help, who get over their fear of failure and embrace their flaws to change them.Most times people become inspired as they find imperfections in others lives that they can relate to. Absolute Truth is Freedom, and Freedom is a state of mind. No one will look up to, or is inspired by the rich kid that has always been rich and gains more wealth from inheritance, with no concept of ever being poor. No one cares about those who appear perfect, in fact we dislike them, because something in our spirit recalls that perfection is just a facade.  Appearing to be perfect , to anyone, is overrated and unnecessary. 
 
Everything that happens in our lives has a purpose, the bad qualifies the good, and the good is the cause of Glory. 


 I pledge to always to be a truth teller, and a truth seeker, no matter what the cost.   No skeletons in my closet. 
It's a matter of Integrity.

For those who do not know, 

Second Lieutenant Emily Perez was a major factor as to why I chose to go to West Point. 
 Emily's life and legacy is so big that she manages to inspire and empower people to believe in themselves, most with out ever having a personal encounter.  
She is the epitome of a leader.  

While a cadet, she rose to the rank of Command Sergeant Major, which is second in charge of the Cadet Corps. Emily became the  first  African American and Hispanic Woman to hold this position. She was also Captain of the Track Team, and a Sociology major. 

Her legacy was my motivation when times became tough. It also was a reason for why I stayed as long as I did. 
While at the Academy, Cadets are frequently encouraged to research and model one's self after a successful leader.  
I adopted 2LT Emily Perez's leadership model as I  hoped to be the rock-star cadet and later officer that she was. What I took from her philosophy can be summed up in a quote by Maya Angelou  that explains that 
"People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel."
It was also echoed by one of the greatest Soldiers that I have ever encountered .  His name is Command Sergeant Major (Ret.) Burnett and his philosophy was simple,
 " You have to care that much".
 True leaders care. True leaders love to serve. They sacrifice. They endure. They overcome, and in doing so they inspire. 

Below is a poetry tribute that was created by my friend, fellow poet, and Marine, Latino A2J. 
"Love the life you live, and live the life that you have."- Poetic Change
 

Age does not dictate maturity.
Maturity does not dictate wisdom.

Wisdom is divine and is a gift, just like Today. They are presents that are present in the same space.

We are born, with a purpose called light.
Lights shine brightest in the areas that are the most dark.
We experience darkness when we allow our purpose to  be diminished by limits,
When we allow others control over our existence.
That is not living;
it is being.
Seeing is not believing.
It is dreaming; it is action.
Freedom is fueled by light, by passion, by living the purpose of your own life
Unashamed. No need to explain.
Only God can judge. We must live above
The limits placed on our existence.
Our challenge is to be free.
Only then will we defeat the enemy........
Self.



All Rights Reserved| Copyright Kylila Bullard Poetic Change 2014